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This guy has hope, but just can't seem to figure out the simplest things
on his own. He'll ask for help, beg for help, and do ANYTHING to help
himself... except read the manual. |
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This winner's got all the teachability of one o' those "slap-sided"
mules, the kind you have to get their attention first before you can make 'em do
anything. For this individual, a clue-bat to the grey-organ oughta do the trick. |
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Trying to teach this lower life form what a computer is, or even worse what
'safe internet browsing' is, would be akin to pissing up a rope. It's just an
exercise in frustration that's likely to get you more pissed than anything
else. |
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Even lower on the evolutionary rung is THIS gentleman, who actually tries to
act as though he knows something about computers by substituting the number
zero for the letter 'o'. |
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Forget about this guy. 'Lost Cause' is an understatement. |
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This guy is the lowest life form on the computer skills ladder of evolution.
Trying to teach THIS guy is likely to result in an argument, including how
screwed up the IT department is because they can't provide him with everything
he needs on a silver platter. Granted, if you DID provide him he wouldn't know
what to do with it anyway. |
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This one's not only 'elite', he's also an elitist. Ask him for a favor and
he's just as likely to give you a red herring as much as the thing you asked for.
Oh, sure, he looks busy. That's why he's still employed. But next time the
network crashes and you lose all of your data, don't be surprised if the
techno-babble issuing from him results in a half-million dollar consulting
bill for outsourced talent. |
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Yeah, he's always gotta look GOOD, even if the problem was HIS fault.
You give this guy a chance and he'll tap-dance around just about any screw-up
this side of a complete system meltdown. And if there WERE a meltdown, well
he'd be bringing up all of his past proposals for equipment and software
upgrades that were supposed to PREVENT the meltdown in the first place. |
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This guy's thinking is so cryptic he even flips you off in binary! Lucky
for him, nobody understands what he's saying, so he gets away with it. Always
appearing to be busy (but really just anti-social) he'll make his hourly treck
to the coffee pot as quickly as possible so that nobody can flag him down,
even taking a circuitous route if need be. |
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The wanna-be computer hacker, always trying to 'help' people until their
computers melt down and they have to make an emergency call to IT to REALLY
get it fixed. If he ever finds out your password (while 'helping' you out,
naturally) don't expect him to just FORGET it. Oh, no, he'll try to back-door
your machine for kicks, and maybe store some porn, warez, or even run a
torrent tracker for copyrighted music and videos via the corporate network,
storing it all on YOUR computer so that he's never blamed for it. |